Closure

Why is it that when people you love and care for cause so much pain and angst when they move away silently? Isn't it better than tearing your hair out, screaming and shouting and creating a scene?

Perhaps not. It might stop you from causing a social embarrassment, but it does not stop you from caving in within, tearing your heart apart wondering what went wrong. It does not stop you from passing snide remarks, trying to mask your pain and anguish in being let down.

Let me tell you a story- about two friends. Lets call them X and Y. X was new in town, a shy young man, who had the most delightful million-dollar smile on earth! His job had brought him down there. Y was from the town, and the first friend X made outside his work circle. When X came into town, it was the monsoons. Waterlogged and woebegone, he almost hated every minute that he spent here. Then he met Y.

Gradually they became thicker and thicker. Sometime after they met and became friends, Y fell head over heels in love. X was happy for him. After all it wasn't something that happens everyday!

Days went by, and months went by... there was no secret between X and Y... or so Y thought. X and Y would still spend a lot of time together. He was treated like another son by Y's family- including a special showcasing of a family fight! And then Y introduced X to someone, who he thought he might get along with.

And they fell for each other.

Except that, the "other" had no intention of being tied down. He was hell-bent on getting rid of X from his life as a lover, and just keeping him as a friend- whether his intentions were good or bad, it was left to be seen.

Some inkling of this crept into Y's ears, and he let a "common friend" know what he thought might happen. Y did not tell X anything about what he thought, but he did drop a warning.

Then, the catharsis happened. X's lover started behaving weirdly. He went and confided in the "common friend" who very happily passed on the information that apparently Y was more in the know about the matter than he claimed. And then the fissure ensued.

Things settled down. Clouds were dispelled, or so Y thought.

X started hiding various aspects of his life from Y. Yet Y, like a fool, thought everything was the same as before. He never left any secret in his stomach as far as X was concerned. After all, X was more than just a friend. He was more like a brother!

Another year passed by. It was closing on Christmas. Y's lover had left the country for further studies. He sought for succour in X, for it wasn't easy to deal with the physical separation.

Then something rather strange happened. X stopped talking. Altogether. One evening he was across at Y's place, chatting with his mum, listening to a radio programme, and the next he had cut out Y from his life!

Y was distraught. He had no idea what might have happened to cause this sudden change. Yet, this separation brought about the revelation of many facts which X had suppressed from Y. It hurt him even more to know that X had always kept a lot of facts about himself hidden from him, when he had made his life an open book to X, made him privy to his innermost thoughts, his most passionate moments and so on.

Months passed by. By this time, X had moved out of Y's hometown, and gone off somewhere- to a place where Y had many friends. In fact, half the people who were friends with X over there were introduced to him by Y.

One fine evening, a friend of Y's bumped into X at a common friend's party. Naturally curious about what might have happened between the two of them, he asked openly about it. Then X comes out with it- apparently X had been told by "people" that Y had been saying things about him behind his back.

Where was the trust on which the friendship was supposedly based on? Couldn't X have asked Y whether he had actually said all that? Could it have been that statements had been taken out of context?

After months of tearing his hair out, Y is finally at peace. The fact that there was no trust between him and X made him realise that it was a good thing the friendship ended where it had. After all, it had been more of a farce than a friendship. A pity he had trusted X so much, but, nevertheless, it had never been reciprocated. From the secrets to believing others over him, X had gone the whole hog.

The other day, over tea, he told me that it was a good thing that he learnt that the basic trust was lacking, and that it had come from X himself. He stopped cursing himself and kicking himself, thinking he had lost a good friend. Now he actually pities X for having lost out on a friend in him.

Knowing Y for what he is, I kind of agree with that.