A few snippets

My birthday (Nov., 2013)

On the 2nd of November, in the evening, we had a gathering at a friend's place, where I got pretty sozzled - it was my birthday the next day, and my friends made sure I had a pretty memorable time.
The next day, I did not feel like getting out of bed - partly because I was tired from the previous night's shenanigans, and partly because Mummy wasn't there. She had always taken every step she could to make us feel really special on our birthdays - and without her, somehow the meaning seemed to have disappeared.

Daddy had always been awkward when it came to sentiments and emotions. I still recall a birthday where he did not wish me for the longest just because he did not have a gift to give me - according to him, mere wishing was nothing.

Yet, this was the one day he knew he had to make up for all those years of awkwardness. He noticed I was stirring, and he was still not able to speak, he wrote a little note for me. It was probably the nicest gift he had ever given me. He wished me a very happy birthday and showered me with blessings. I could not have asked for anything else.

Trippin' with Caio (2014-2015)

Caio and I went all over the place in the last year and the beginning of this year - we started with Hyderabad and Jaipur, then Kuala Lumpur, Malacca, Krabi and back to Bangkok, then Annecy, then Rome, Vienna, Prague and Istanbul. We even stayed for a month in Delhi!

Thanks for making my life so beautiful, Caio. I cannot tell you how much you mean to me.

A contrast

Over the new year's, Caio's mother and the two of us were in Budapest, along with my dear friend Steven and his partner, Shrey. We were on a tram, when a couple of tram controllers got a bit nasty, and landed up becoming abusive - to a point of being racist and homophobic. I seldom get as angry as I did that day - it was painful, to say the least, but at the same time, it put me in touch with the reality in Budapest, beyond my amazing bubble that I live in - despite the laws and the constitution and the ECHR.

In a few days, Caio, his mother and I traveled to Istanbul, and one day, at the Grand Bazaar, right after we had finished shopping at a particular store, and we were about to leave, the shopkeeper called me back and said, "My friend, the two of you make a very nice couple - I understood - you look very good together". This made my day - in a country with a great deal of repression from the government's end, this was the most beautiful thing that happened to me.

When I told Caio about this, he gave a gleeful smile, and then said, "and this made you really happy, no?" And suddenly, it struck me - it did. I come from a country where it is all right to be gay, but not practice anything gay. If I have to get partnered officially with my partner, I have to run from country to country looking for how much paperwork they require. I told Caio as much, and when telling him, I started crying - for it is only us who live in a world where we are handcuffed, who know how it is.

Mamma Mia

I have had three (including my present) wonderful partners till date. The first two relationships have made me into the person that I am today. While I was with them, I always took into account the fact that they are in the closet with their family, and that I would probably never be introduced to their family. I felt it incredibly important for them to know what it is like to be accepted in a family. THus, all of them have met my parents and my extended family, not as friends, but as my partners. Till date, I still consider my former partners to be a part of my family and hold them in great affection.

Caio's mother is the first parent of a partner who I met. We not only met, we stayed with each other, traveled with each other, gossiped about her son, shared complaints and compliments - and all through Portuguese!

That is when I realised how wonderful it is to have acceptance and love from your partner's parent. It is not about validation, it is not about social bonding - it is about family. I love having a family which is supportive - and finally, I think, I have landed up in a relationship where I can proudly say I have family on both sides.